Stepping out of a Subway Station
The heat collapses on you,
dark blanket of noise and dust
and neon-lights, rolls up
against your flesh; a hooker fishing
for change to buy condoms; men
pressing into your space, faces dirty
with lust; the weight of nightsins
sink onto your shoulders
as you ignore the thing in rags,
without legs,
begging
for you to see it.
On this page, you can:
Start your own free art collection. Sign up here!DownloadSee more of this artist:xabie's profilexabie's gallery
©2006-2010 ~xabie
Author's Comments
Full Title: Stepping out of a Subway Station
Critiques, comments, thoughts, feelings, impressions, etc. all appreciated and welcome. Daily DeviationGiven 2006-09-03Stepping out a Subway Station by ~xabie is a vivid record of impressions. (Featured by `PoeticWar) |
Details
August 24, 2006
541 bytes StatisticsShare |
Note
Twitter
Facebook
Reddit
Digg
LiveJournal
MySpace
Report a Policy Violation
Site Map
Community News196 A Year Passed by with ART Passion...=day-light
 reports, 1d 13h agoSquare collection of beautiful photos 102 Community Relations Newsletter - Nov/Dec 2009$Moonbeam13
 reports, 22h 6m agoNews from the Community Relations Team  80 DailyLitDeviations Prompt Contest=DailyLitDeviations
 reports, 17h 11m agoDaily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. To help support the Literature community we hold regular contests. It is an opportunity for you to get involved and gain some exposure. Contest winners will be featured in a news article and a journal entry--as well as other fabulous prizes. Please read this article for more information on how you can participate! 77 Maybe we are dreamer*scheinbar
 reports, 1d 12h agoMay be... we are dreamers my december-features.. you will find lots and lots of wonderful pics... please enjoy and give a little friendship to the artists... 62 Contest: I am NOT for sale - All Mediums=KneelingGlory
 reports, 1d 2h agoAcross the globe, 27 million men, women, and children live in some form of slavery. That is more people at this moment than in all the centuries of the Atlantic Slave Trade. Something must be done. This contest serves two purposes: Raising awareness about human trafficking and raising funds for the Not For Sale organization. Open to all mediums. Deadline is March 10, 2010 @ 11:59pm PST. Over 2 years worth of subs up for grabs! 60 Daily Literature Deviations - December 31. 2009=DailyLitDeviations
reports, 1d 4h agoDaily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you  the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community. |
PollNew Year's Eve is almost upon us! How do you plan to celebrate? |
deviantART Loves You
Deviously serving the art and skin community for 3,434 days.
Only 218 days until our tenth birthday!
|
Deviousness
Although `DEVlANT joined our community only a year ago, he's made sure to make his mark in as many ways as possible. From extensive bug testing around the site, to heading up the now infamous #devBUG Group, Martin's always eager to get involved. His inquisitive mind and enthusiastic personality is reflected in every part of the community which he reaches out to. Always eager to bring suggestions and feedback to us in a positive way, `DEVlANT shows a maturity way beyond his years. It's with great pleasure that we award very first Deviousness of 2010 t... Read More
|
Follow us on Twitter
Become a fan on Facebook
©2010 deviantART. All rights reserved
Comments
--
Literature Gallery Moderator
For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
--
Write prose? ~simplyprose
--
Literature Gallery Moderator
For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
I also love the "nightsins." This is a strong night cityscape in words--appropriately clausterphoic and with a somber ending.
Picky-dumb question about these lines:
"The heat collapses on you,/dark blanket of noise and dust/and neon-lights, rolls up".
I wonder about "rolls" versus "roll." What is the subject there? If the subject is just the heat (composed of the blanket of noise, dust, and lights), than "rolls" is correct. If it's all those things seperately, than it should be "roll up." Or, if it's the blanket that is rolling, why is there a comma there between "neon-lights" and the verb? This could be extremely obvious and I could just be being dumb.
Anyways, that's incredibly minor. I enjoyed this poem very much.
--
Critiquing someone's prose or poetry is an awesome thing to do.
--
"the way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"
--
Never ask a P.R. man for the truth and never shake hands with a gynecologist. These are basic professional rules.
Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare...
--
"Art is not a lifestyle, it is life, style is an option."
--
Literature Gallery Moderator
For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
Previous Page12345...Next Page